The Rabbit Died
An Animal Rights Article from

January 2013

My, I'll bet you monsters lead innnnteresting lives.
- Bugs Bunny

I remember watching an episode of a popular comedy TV series called "Three's Company" back in the late 1970s with a few other couples. During one scene, the characters were discussing a shotgun hillbilly wedding in Appalachia which was terminated at the last moment. The reason why? One character explained, "The rabbit lived." I thought that this line was very funny and quite creative, but nobody else in my circle of friends understood the humor. Let me explain.

During my growing up years of the 1960s when a woman suspected that she was pregnant, she would go to her doctors who would draw blood, and then inject that fluid into the body of a female rabbit. That procedure was called "The Rabbit Test." A human hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) would then cause the rabbit's ovaries to grow and burst, and that death would provide confirmation of the pregnancy.

"The Rabbit Died" became a popular phrase in American culture. It also became a one-liner used in comedy television shows and stand-up comic routines.

On the final day of 2012, the Journal of Biotechnology published a study revealing that rabbits are now used to advance the cause of absurd science by being genetically engineered and combined with humans with to create a new technology.

Future headline may result in a bad joke: "The human died."

Mad scientists at Pharming Technologies in the Netherlands have identified a glycoprotein called (C1INH) in human plasma which inhibits the progression of myocardial infarction.

A myocardial infarction is simply known as a heart attack. Humans get heart attacks due to eating animal fats and animal proteins, specifically chicken, beef, pork, rabbit, pizza, and cheese; particularly Welsh rarebit.

By re-combining genetic material from that human protein with genetic rabbit material, they are now able to manufacture huge amounts of GMO-C1INH. They then "fuse" that genetically engineered glycoprotein to cow casein and inject it into humans.

Test subjects seem to have developed a passion for carrot juice and a propensity to hop. Female subjects wear cotton tails and pose suggestively in men's magazines. Those receiving the genetiocally engineered human/rabbit drug do not have a hare of a chance of being cured of cardiovascular diseases, but the rabbit abuse and useless research continues...

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